Beer and Cigars, Oh My!
Numerous times the writers of Scripture challenge readers to fine tune personal behavior toward some version of "be holy as he is holy." While most Jesus followers will agree that our lives must appear more and more like Jesus in how we live and the choices we make, just how that looks differs by region and culture and time. And yet, while acknowledging that truism, we still, occasionally, jump to judge other people for choices and behaviors we see as outside the bounds of what a good Christian should do. "How can they call themselves Christians if they...."
Some of you grew up in more restrictive settings where card playing, or wearing make-up, or dancing, or drinking, or (fill in the blank) were sure signs of a weak spiritual life. Outward obedience to church-taught standards in an effort to be more godly might be worn as one's badge of faithfulness as well as a test to be used on others. I know I have been guilty of that and am sorry for the hurt it caused. Others live in less stringent settings, but still have their ideas for right living. Human nature demands systems to understand concepts, and an easy route is to make lists of good and bad, do and don't do, embrace and avoid.
In the mid-70s I traveled with a rugby touring side to England and Wales for much of one summer. We played and visited and stayed with locals and overall had a grand time. As a young Christian, I was (arrogantly) sure of how any true believer should act. My idea of approved behaviors might as well have been pinned to my shirt and were pretty dang conservative.
In one small Welsh village I met a rugger my age who loved Jesus and the life we shared. After the match, where we were thoroughly thrashed, he invited me to his pub to meet with other young believers. In this dark, smoke-filled basement bar, with a storm raging outside and laughter and songs inside, these fellows squeezed me into their corner booth and shared life and Jesus stories over pints of Guinness and cigars. The circuits in my little mind were popping as I tried to reconcile my tidy list with what I was experiencing with these funny and faith-filled men.
My Welsh evening can happen anytime we go outside our bubble. Back in the 1800s, Charles Spurgeon, an English Baptist preacher, was well known both in Great Britain and in the States. The American evangelist, D.L. Moody was an admirer. He arranged a meeting with Spurgeon since he would be in England on a speaking tour anyway. Moody was warmly greeted by a smiling Spurgeon, who was chomping on a flaming cigar. Moody exclaimed, "How could you, a man of God, smoke that cigar?" Spurgeon stepped toward Moody, pointing at his huge belly (as Dwight was seriously large), and said, "The same way you, a man of God, can be that fat!"
Isn't it interesting how, after we do the calculus on what practical faith looks like for ourselves, we expect others to do the same and judge them if they don't?
Paul, in his letter to the Roman church, early on builds a case for showing every person as without hope apart from Jesus' death and resurrection for us and our new life in him. But he also reminds readers that it is God who judges, not you and me. Listen to his words:
Now if you feel inclined to set yourself up as a judge of those who sin, let me assure you, whoever you are, that you are in no position to do so, for at whatever point you condemn others you automatically condemn yourself, since you, the judge of others, commit the same sins.
Pots and kettles.
We are all in the same boat. Each person who is a Christ follower and who wants to grow in faith will wrestle with the rights and wrongs in terms of behavior. Clearly, we are to stay away from blatant evil that corrupts a person's heart and does harm to others, but in all the marginal areas, how about if we cut each other some slack. There will always be disagreements over what conduct harms faith and sometimes we defer to others, but allowing others to come to their own conclusions is a grace gift that costs you nothing.
The tricky part comes when something I feel is just fine is challenged by someone else as to be avoided, or the other way around. What does love require of me in moments like this? "Help me understand..." is often a great starting point for a conversation. It presumes nothing more than what is seen and seeks to listen to how another follower came to that point of behavior. This goes along with what Jesus' brother, James, says,
In view of what he has made us then, dear brethren, let every one of you be quick to listen but slow to use your tongue, and slow to lose your temper. For man's temper is never the means of achieving God's true goodness.
We are called to lives of honor and practical purity and discipline, but how that fleshes out is as individual as there are people. I learned that in Wales, Moody had that pointed out by Spurgeon, and you have bumped up against this plenty of times, as well. A sound place to begin is to presume the best in others, just like we would wish for from them. If you want to talk this over, let me know. I'll buy the beer, but pass on the cigar ... just too stinky.
“Faults are like the headlights on your car; those of others seem more glaring than your own.”
Musicmusicmusic
...and a couple of funnies for the road
A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.
"Sounds great," said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some.
He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
"Wait a minute," the boy said. "Those don't look fat-free."
"Sure they are," the cook said. "We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free."
**This one might be heard around some of our places ... just sayin'
Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup.
While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, "I don't like the way he looks."
"Neither do I," she said. "But he's handy around the house."