Nobody Likes Change Except a Wet Baby

Post 4 in my series Metaphors That Matter: Insights into Life’s Challenges

Temporary change (think New Year’s Eve resolutions) can be exciting. You’ve determined to try something new, and if you don’t like it, you can just go back to your previous routine. No harm, no foul.

Long-term change, on the other hand, can be scary, demanding, and unsettling. We like things predictable. So much so, that we often endure unfavorable circumstances far too long, and sometimes forever, because change threatens the known with the unknown. And humans default to fear of the unknown. Just think of all the times even we Christ-followers—who are to be characterized by our faith (trust) in God’s sovereignty—resist change, doubting that God will work things to our benefit.

I’m facing a massive change in the next few months that will take me into the depths of the unknown with little opportunity for me to continue in the types of ministry that I have settled comfortably and predictably into like a much-loved pair of slippers over the past five decades. I have no idea what God has for me next in his kingdom work. This is something I’ve never faced, and I have to constantly join with David who, finding himself if difficult situations, had to repeatedly command his soul:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits.

~Psalm 103:1-2

So if we put so much energy into resisting change, what is the key to breaking the inertia and moving forward? It turns out that what’s mysterious to us as adults is obvious to a baby. Babies who are well fed and dry are perfectly content with things just as they are. But when nature calls, a wet diaper becomes a highly motivating factor in a baby’s pursuit of dry. It won’t be pleasant. First comes the rush of cold air against a wet body when the diaper is removed. Then, like a doctor taking her stethoscope out of the freezer, mom or dad pulls out the dreaded wet wipes and adds further wet discomfort to current wet discomfort. But in due time, a dry diaper is secured on a dry baby, a lap and loving arms provide comfort, and the world is as it should be once again.

[Note: Is it too much of a stretch to think that this even applied to Jesus, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:2)?]

So what’s the secret of change that babies know and we don’t? The secret lies in our current level of perceived discomfort. Let me explain.

If you’re like me, you love and seek comfort. In fact, we always move from areas of greater perceived pain to areas of lesser perceived pain. From discomfort to comfort (or greater discomfort to lesser discomfort). So as long as change itself seems more painful than remaining in our present circumstances (if we perceive them to be less painful), we’ll just keep things the way they are, thank you very much. In other words, a baby may tolerate a slightly damp diaper and seem perfectly content. But once a threshold of wetness is passed, the baby’s resistance is overcome and the change that was once undesirable is now demanded, despite the pain induced by change.

Many people seek counseling when they feel stuck in a bad situation and don’t know how to change. So I tell them about babies and wet diapers. People usually get stuck, not because they don’t know what to do to get unstuck, but because they think it will be too painful to do whatever’s necessary to move forward. So my job is to raise their level of perceived pain by helping them see how much better things can be if they make the effort. Yes, it will be painful. But not as painful as staying stuck.

Mind you, I’m writing this for my benefit, too. Giving advice is far easier than taking it. My eyes see a chasm filled with fog beckoning me. Only when I command my soul to bless (praise) the Lord and remember all the times he’s faithfully guided me to green pastures will the chasm close and the fog dissipate enough for me to take one more hesitant step in my faith journey.

So join me. Think like a baby. Change is good, because God is good.