Seeing the Wind
And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me!” – Matt 14:29-30
Once upon a time, on a peaceful, calm day, I was asked what my favorite Jesus story was. I replied, “The story of Jesus walking on the water.” It’s a wonderful story, demonstrating the undeniable deity of Jesus while also showing a relatable follower’s failure in Peter’s attempt to join him on the waves.
I have been aboard a boat during high seas, and I hated it. I have always preferred smooth-as-glass lakes, the same as most people. I’ve also been fortunate enough to have lived a relatively peaceful life. Unlike my father and the generations before him, I have never been called to take up arms and defend my country. I have never been without convenient access to food or water, and I have never had a sickness that put me at fear of death. My life of relative ease has not prepared me for the stormy waters I am currently experiencing.
It’s only work. My job is managing a handful of licensed care communities and the people that run them. Although it feels like trying to calm the seas, it’s a relatively small pond compared to the responsibilities many of you have. However, I learned recently what my personal limitations are when it comes to my job. Like Peter, I tend to think I can do anything because of my talents and my proximity to Jesus. But regardless of my self-confidence and 30 years of following Christ, I am like a little child when it comes to handling the tasks set before me right now.
What I mean by “like a child” is that I don’t know the answers, I make mistakes, and I am aware of my weaknesses in relation to the big things around me. I am vulnerable and fearful. I am trying to keep my eyes on Jesus, but instead I keep seeing the wind, which is, ironically, invisible. Yet I focus on things that aren’t as true or real as the one who promises to save me from drowning.
The accusation that says, “You’re going to fail” is not true. The imagined scenarios of my business falling apart are not real. What is real is the person of Jesus standing before me, calling my name, and holding out his hand. Is there wind? Yes. But is it as solid as the one who stood soundly on the water? Not even close.
My life of faith has prepared me for any storm, but my life of ease has made this storm feel eerily unfamiliar. I know without a shadow of a doubt my Savior loves me and reaches for me. I resolve each day to keep my eyes on him and know his power over the wind and waves. I only desire to be held in his arms through it all.
If you are experiencing similar trials, I urge you to reach out to your fellow faith strugglers. I have felt the arms of Jesus in the encouragement and prayers of my dear wife and brothers in Christ. I have also been greatly encouraged by one of my favorite songs, “Dancing on the Waves” by We The Kingdom. It’s worth a listen as you ponder the pains and joy of wavering on the water with Jesus.
