Not the Worst
Reading the Bulletin a bit ago, a letter to the editor had a headline that stopped me cold. The theme of the angry letter was directed to the paper choosing to publish negative details about a man from years before, but now is hailed a hero in a recent tragic shooting. The headline read,
None of us is the worst thing we have done
Look over that line a couple of times. It is so easy to grasp, but so difficult to hold onto. Failure, especially when it is made public, can often be devastating and defining. A past can become a nametag and all that comes after passes through that filter of failure.
Let's talk about regrets. All of us carry them, and all the more the longer we live. These are the things we did and did not do, the words said in haste or anger, the bitternesses held and the love withheld. If you look up "regret" and search for synonyms, words like cry over, lament, bemoan, deplore, eat heart out, express sorrow. If you are like me, I can attach these labels to times in my life that I would love to have a "do over."
It also seems regret is a healthy part of our soul demanding attention, like a flashing light on a car dashboard. Regret brings to mind what needs mending, or removing, or protecting. The key is to take heed to the flashing light and fix, if fixable, the problem and insure it does not repeat. Then move on, having done what you can to make things right, if possible.
When we ignore the flashing lights, the failure may well return, and no one wants that. However, if we sense the failure and deal with the issues and still are haunted by a past that has been forgiven and dealt with, we enter the land of self-recrimination. A person here chooses to tattoo the nametag of failure on their heart. With that label, there is no going forward, only in circles.
People who live as self-recriminators are bound by a past they cannot change and have no real sense of the forgiveness that Jesus offers fully and freely. So, these folks hide. They don't feel worthy of forgiveness (spoiler alert: NO ONE IS). Outwardly, they may look put together, they may serve God and people, they might even be leaders among you all, but inwardly they feel like frauds. These dear people stand forgiven by God, but cannot forgive themselves. Let that sink in: Because of Jesus and his loving sacrifice for his creation, those who know him as savior are forgiven, period. The consequences of the errors may last a lifetime, but the perpetrator is welcomed to move on. Sins leave scars, but don't have to cripple the sinner.
Paul stands as a good example of this, living as a forgiven yet scarred follower of Jesus. Before his encounter with Jesus on the Damascus road, he hunted down and persecuted Christians, harming and derailing many lives. This was serious stuff and Paul had to live with those memories. Listen to him in his first letter to his young protégé, Timothy:
I am deeply grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom I owe all that I have accomplished, for trusting me enough to appoint me his minister, despite the fact that I had previously blasphemed his name, persecuted his church, and insulted him. I believe he was merciful to me because what I did was done in the ignorance of a man without faith....This statement is completely reliable and should be universally accepted: "Christ Jesus entered the world to rescue sinners." I realize that I was the worst of them all....It was a kind of demonstration of the extent of Christ's patience toward the worst of men, to serve as an example to all who in the future should trust in him for eternal life.
As you read these lines the sense of his regret comes through, both toward Jesus and also to those lives he damaged. At the same time, those things from his past that could not be changed would be used by God to change the world for good. The ends (his ministry) certainly do not justify the means (the innocents who suffered), but the past served as prologue to his future. Jesus took a man who was the "chief of sinners" and made him into a blessing to others, all the way down to us as we benefit from his letters in scripture.
Regrets were like Paul’s scars—reminders of missteps that no longer have power over him and warnings to never repeat them.
So, we loop back to you and me. I have my regrets and you have yours. Some of mine lay deep in my past and others are as recent as yesterday. Overlaying all of them is the blanket of forgiveness found in Jesus. He chooses to love us as we are, but will not leave us as we are. The Spirit uses the flashing lights of regret to steer us, again, back to our best compass heading that follows God in thought and action. Self-recrimination, where we cannot get over our past has no place in forgiveness. Self-recriminators deny grace, seeing their sins as somehow so bad as to be unforgivable. The best word for them is "stuck." Stuck in the past, stuck with their failures, stuck without a future they can see.
As you ponder these thoughts, let me encourage you to spend some time with Jesus and talk over your life.
Acknowledge the regrets you have
Thank him for the forgiveness that is yours in him
Ask God for a deeper understanding of grace in your life and how you can extend it to others
Pray for freedom from self-recrimination (if that is in you) and your future
No matter how good we look to others, we know us. The great news of the gospel is that we are rescued over and over, every day of our life. Break free from your past and live—certainly scarred and maybe crippled—the new life the Father and the Son and the Spirit designed you to live. None of us are the worst things we have done. Let's go!
How about some music...country this time
And a couple of semi-funny jokes
A little boy had been pawing over a stationer's stock of greeting cards for some time.
The clerk asked, "Just what is it you're looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, anniversary, or a congratulations to your mom and dad?"
The boy shook his head and answered, "Got anything like a blank report card?"
__________
During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb.
When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, "Does your dog have a license?"
"No," the man said, "he doesn't need one."
"Yes he does," answered the officer.
"But," said the driver, "I always do all the driving."