“I Want to Hold Your Hand”

For those who grew up in the ’60s and ’70s, this might immediately take you back to a nostalgic time. Others may have to think awhile before you can identify these words.

“I Want to Hold Your Hand,” was a Beatles song in 1963. Do you remember the lyrics?

Oh, yeah, I'll tell you somethin'
I think you'll understand
When I say that somethin'
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand. 

I was recently thrust back into this piece of nostalgia by the death of my best friend’s wife. As I reminisced about our past, this song came to mind. It took me back to an old relationship. This was “our” song. “Our” meaning Flame #1. This was a traumatic period in my life, and Steve and Linda were around to share in the ups and downs of my first flame. I have known Steve since a junior in high school and Linda since fourth grade. Steve and I have shared many fishing, hunting, and skiing trips together.

The last camping trip that we shared together was some twenty years ago. We met in an RV park in Central California. From there we drove across the Sierras, and visited a campground in Kennedy Meadows. Steve and I had taken a 4-day pack trip there in 1964. We walked into the local outfitting store to ask if the old bar that we had visited years before was still there. We wanted to see if the window that Steve and I and a local had crashed through together had ever been repaired or maybe if there was a plaque, “Steve and Don were here.” It was a wild time!! Unfortunately, the bar had burned down a few years after our 1964 adventure.

Linda had been in bad health for years. We frequently stopped by to see them when we ventured into California on many of our RV trips. The call from Steve came. Linda died on May 8th. We shared tears together… and then Steve was gone as the call ended. I immediately started to second guess myself. Did I say the right thing? Could I have done more in the last few years?

I will continue to reach out to Steve in the next few days and months. I am not sure what I will say. I know I will not use the words of this song, but I will try and use the principle that I see behind it. I want to be your friend, I want to help you through your pain, I just want to hold your hand as a friend.

As we look at the lives of those around us, we can identify the many pains that we struggle with. I encourage you to reach out to others. You may not know what to say, but a simple “I’m thinking about you” phone call, can mean a lot. A card may do. Maybe the offer to sit with them for a while. You don’t have to be a great orator or writer. Just reach out as a good friend.

Recently, I have been going through some physical issues. We have had many friends reach out to us with cards, phone calls, and emails. We had a visit from a friend who prayed with us at St. Charles. Flowers were delivered to us from Foundry Church. We were brought dinner one night. We even had practical advice on how to put on the dreaded compression socks. (I am afraid we both needed to go to “the confessional” after those episodes!)  Dorene’s friend have coffee with her while I was in a physical therapy session. I even had one friend volunteer to come and take out the 33 staples in my knee with his own pliers.

We have appreciated every one of them. It doesn’t take much to reach out and let someone know that you care.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 encourages us in this endeavor:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!