Why Cultivate Gratitude?
My daughter gifted me with an Ann Voskamp book, titled One Thousand Gifts, for Mother’s Day in the year her father was dying of cancer. Ann’s poetic style was a little challenging to read at first. But I kept on. And I saw through to her heart.
Ann’s story is one of grief and pain. She witnessed her toddler sister run over and killed by the UPS driver in the gravel drive of their farm. And then Ann “lost” her mother—she also witnessed the accident—who moved in and out of mental health institutions over the next few years. Much later, after Ann married and had a family of her own and was still dealing with depression, a friend challenged her to list one thousand things she was thankful for. Ann wasn’t sure how she’d be able to do that.
As time passed, Ann’s perspective shifted to seeing more clearly how God sees things—one blessing gift at a time. She wrote, “Thanks is what multiplies the joy and makes any life large … but I had never practiced until it became the second nature, first skin.”
This challenged me to start practicing gratitude, even as my husband was slowly dying.
First snow falling
Delicious curry dish delivered by a co-worker
The Porch Fairy dropping off chai latte … every morning for days
Soft fuzzy yarn and knitting needles—some would call it therapy
In time, my husband was confined to a hospital bed that dominated our living room. And still I wrote gratitude. Every day. It kept me settled and filled with peace at a time when there shouldn’t have been peace.
Every conversation with hubby, even the ones that don’t make sense
Today’s front porch offering—pumpkin-scented candles and a pumpkin pie
All three grandkids on one boisterous FaceTime call
Gift of mismatched socks
My husband entered Hospice House because his physical needs were more than I could manage at home. Our daughter and I were by his side when he took his final, rasping breath.
Still, I counted.
Our daughter here with us
Son, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, and the grandkids on their way
The love pouring out of so many cards
A beautiful Celebration of Life service
I kept writing through the widow years, and into the angst of dating again, and into a budding love relationship with a man who fits me perfectly—because what’s not to be grateful about that?!
When we practice rushing past the simple pleasures and graces that make up our everyday lives, I’m pretty sure we become less. We don’t notice so we don’t speak gratitude. And as we practice not noticing and not speaking gratitude, we become less content, less at peace, less joyful. We live a lesser life.
There’s a well-loved passage from a letter Paul wrote to new believers in the ancient city of Philippi. He includes a directive from God’s heart—not to be mistaken as a suggestion:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
It’s that simple. 1) Kick anxiety out and—hurry!—lock the door; 2) Think about the priceless gifts we’ve been given even as we voice our needs to God; and 3) Enjoy peace.
I love how Anne Lamott wrote it:
“Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides. It means you are willing to stop being such a jerk. When you are aware of all that has been given to you, in your lifetime and in the past few days, it is hard not to be humbled and pleased to give back.”
Today, I’m on my fifth gratitude journal of capturing one thousand ways God loves me. (Ann Voskamp calls them “love lists.”)
Why count all the gifts God has given us, you ask? Why cultivate gratitude? Why point out the good during our hard seasons?
Because it helps alleviate fear and anxiety. It inspires service, and service produces joy. It shifts our perspective onto the valuable things that remain after the dust settles from our losses. And it’s tied to an un-understandable peace.
