What I Learned About Prayer From My Recent Surgery
As many of you already know, I recently underwent major surgery (what’s called a radical prostatectomy) to remove some cancerous and other surrounding tissue from my body. Fortunately, my prognosis looks good thus far. I appreciate all the prayers and comforting words on my behalf.
But before, during, and after this process, I learned some lessons on prayer that may help some of you.
I felt a preternatural sense of calm and peace throughout this time
Last spring, a biopsy revealed cancer in a small portion of my prostate. To be fair, I wasn’t surprised. I’d been monitoring my health through a regular series of blood tests which culminated in the cancer diagnosis. Yet cancer is a word none of us wants to hear.
Yet, I felt a sense of peace and calm contrary to my high-strung nature. I can only attribute it to the Holy Spirit who gives a peace “which passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7).
I’ve also settled in my mind that I’m not afraid to die. In the back of my mind, I wondered if my cancer had spread. Would I die?
Again, I leaned on the Scriptures in understanding that, although sin has wreaked death and destruction, Jesus has conquered death through his own death, burial, resurrection, and ascension. As his child, I’ve received the promise of eternal life (John 5:24), the quality of existence that only God can give. And eternal life is bound up and identified with his Son (John 17:3).
To be sure, there may come a time when my emotions may come crashing down. But the promises of God hold true forever.
I sought out the prayers and support of others while trying not to draw attention to myself
There’s often a tenuous balance regarding asking for prayer about the situation we find ourselves in. On the one hand, many of us are private people, not wanting to share much of our personal lives for whatever reason. Perhaps we’re afraid of “oversharing”, revealing more than others need to know.
Yet the Bible is full of people asking for intercession when they find themselves in difficult straits. Even God commands us to seek him. Psalm 50:15 says, “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify me”. The early church in Acts gathered regularly in prayer (e.g. 2:42; 4:23-41; 12:5). The apostle Paul, during his first imprisonment, calls on the church in Ephesus to pray for him: “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains” (Ephesians 6:19-20a). More pointedly, James 5:13-16 emphasizes prayer in every situation, focusing on prayer for the physically and spiritually sick (“confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed” v.16).
So, in my situation, I asked people to pray for me, starting with my immediate family and friends at Foundry. As my surgery date approached, I let people on my Facebook profile know. Surprisingly, the response was heartwarming. Besides the believers who prayed, people whom I did not think were Christ followers said they would also pray. The most encouraging Facebook response came from a woman who simply wrote, “You got this Mike!”
I shared what I thought were appropriate updates about my condition in both private and public settings.
I concluded that I not only appreciated prayer but that I both needed and wanted it.
But prayer for others and ourselves is not magic. In his essay, The Efficacy of Prayer, C.S. Lewis writes: “The essence of the request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted.” Citing Jesus’s prayers that the cup of suffering be eliminated, he writes: “After that the idea of prayer as recommended to us as a sort of infallible gimmick may be dismissed.” Finally, posing as an experiment praying for patients in one hospital and not another, Lewis writes: “empirical proof and disproof…are unobtainable…Prayer is not a machine. It is not magic. It is not advice offered to God”.
Yet God commands us to pray and to ask others to pray for us. May we be obedient in our time of need.
I appreciated people who didn’t know what to say even if they felt they needed to say something
We’ve all felt awkward about what to say when around people in need. We sometimes blurt out inappropriate words. I’ve been both giver and recipient of these remarks.
But I graciously learned to accept whatever people said to me because I believed their heart was in the right place. They genuinely wanted to be helpful. Maybe they just didn’t know how. And almost invariably, they offered to pray for me.
And that’s what I learned the most about prayer during this time. That by opening myself up to prayer from others, I found myself in a larger world where I was loved and supported. People I didn’t know (or know well) wanted to get in on the action of prayer. I’ve been overwhelmed almost to tears with this realization.
In chapter 8 of his book, Making Sense of God: An Invitation to the Skeptical, author and pastor Timothy Keller talks about hope. He argues that hope in secular culture is synonymous with optimism. But without God, optimism has no way to deal with life’s inevitable pain, suffering, and adversity. Better, Keller writes, is biblical hope. Yes, pain, suffering, and adversity are inevitable but now we have a way to deal with it. The One who has gone before us and has defeated death tells us that hope is the absolute assurance of future good. Not fully in this life. Not every prayer answered as we wish. But someday, Jesus will set everything right. And that’s our hope now and for the future:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13 ESV