Wakes We Leave
Some years ago I led a funeral service for a good man.
Born and raised in a small midwestern town, he left college to serve during WW2 and after the war he followed a similar path taken by millions of others: He finished school, married, had two children and continued in a worthy direction. His work world would be one of service on behalf of native communities in the west. Quiet and disciplined, this man walked his path with integrity and grace. He loved his wife and sons, and practiced his faith in tangible ways.
One of his sons tells a story of his father that showcases his character. Their morning routine on school days was for the dad to wake his son to have him join him at the breakfast table. There, as the boy ate his cereal and read the sports pages, the father quietly read his Bible and said little. When it was time for work, the man would kiss his son and leave and often the boy would sneak back to bed for a few more minutes of sleep, but the lesson was imprinted, permanently.
Today, that boy, now an older man, lives a life that orbits around the pursuit of God with each day begun by spending time reading and praying and considering Jesus in his life…just like his dad. And like his father before him, this man weaves his faith naturally into the fabric of his life.
At the funeral, I used an illustration of boats on the water as like people in life. Some seem to be shallow-hulled speedboats that leave short, choppy wakes, here and quickly gone. Others, like canoes, slip through life and barely leave a trace. While really, like this man, each person is more like a huge ship, quietly moving ahead up a channel, but leaving slow-rolling wakes that go on far beyond their time. The impact of this man’s life still moves his son, long after his death.
Paul, writing to the dysfunctional church in Corinth, writes,
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved. And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.
”Imitate me” Paul instructs. And so, this cuts in two directions each with a probing question.
First, it’s worth asking just what influences have formed who I am today? Many will not have memories like my friend of a faithful father, but are still a product of other’s “wakes” in life. Adults carry both worthwhile and traumatic lessons from parents and mentors, bosses and friends, and many others. Make no mistake, we are all impacted by others. So our life-long effort is to attempt to keep the best and learn from the rest.
We are wise when we recognize that we all are being formed by outside influences, so learning from the best sources to imitate remains our most worthwhile option. So, back to the question, “Who am I imitating, and is it producing in me the results I desire?”
Wakes rock a person without knowing it. Some self-evaluation and reflection, possibly with a trusted friend, is always helpful. And if Jesus is both the great teacher as well as a worthy model for living, it makes sense to imitate him no matter how out of synch with the culture that may be.
Second question is just what kind of wake am I leaving? Some introspection is good and calls us to see who we are impacting through our lives and what our “wake” teaches other about life and faith and courage and perseverance and love. Never doubt your wake in others within your arena. Whether attracting or repelling, your influence remains in your family, at work, or with your circle of friends.
Paul says for the church in Corinth to imitate him as he imitates Christ. That’s quite a challenge for any of us to take on as our own, but the principle remains. To leave a legacy that looks beyond just my life and that moves people forward in theirs sure seems like a life worth living.
My life, and yours, leaves a wake. Is mine helpful or less so? Do I invest in others for their good and growth or are they simply players in my drama?
The man I led the funeral for is buried in a cemetery over in the valley. Not long ago I asked his son if he ever goes to the gravesite, and he said he had been there not many months ago. He didn’t say so, but I can imagine him thanking God for his father and for the wake he left that still rocks his boat after all these years.
Let’s take a page out of both Paul’s and this man’s playbook and determine to live in such a way that we are both careful as to who speaks into our lives with influence as well as who might be watching and learning from us as we steam ahead up our river.
Music for the week…bluegrass and such
Bad jokes? We got em
A scientist goes out to research the behavior of the giant rat of Sumatra. Accompanied by his trusty guide, he seeks out the rats in the deep jungles of Borneo.
Suddenly, in the distance, they hear tribal drums. The guide announces, "I don't like the sound of those drums."
As they trek onward the drums get louder and louder until they sound quite close indeed. The guide says, "I really don't like the sound of those drums!"
Suddenly the drums stop, and a voice from the darkness cries out,
"Hey man, he's not our regular drummer!"
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A snail hitched a ride with a friendly turtle. As they reached an intersection another turtle came along and rammed into them!
A cop came and questioned the snail: "What happened here?"
The little snail replied, "I don't know—it all happened so fast."