Beware of Destination Addiction

On our way home from serving at Family Kitchen, the thought came to me: I’m looking forward to going to Hawaii [Dan and I are scheduled for a week in the sunny islands], but take Hawaii out of the picture and I’m deeply content where I am. Here. Now.

It hasn’t always been this way, though.

As a younger woman, I used to imagine a home on acreage in the country … and then I’d be happy. And later, I imagined coordinating cancer survivor retreats on that same imaginary piece of country property. And once that happens, then I’d be content.

Here’s a thing: If we’re living in the future—whether it’s a calling, a different location than here, a new house, a dreamed-about husband or wife—if that’s where we’re living, then we’re wasting this present moment. And this present moment is my life, your life, made up of seconds and minutes strung together into days.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming and planning. Go ahead. Dream big. Pray big. Make big plans. Work toward the goal. And remember to be present now as you wait for God to open the doors for then.

This thought from the book of James (4:13-14):

Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Add to that this thought from Psalm 118:24:

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

If—compared to all of time and everything that has ever been created—our one life is likened to a bit of mist (think: Pacific Ocean waves hitting the shores of Hawaii and evaporating into misty air [sorry to keep rubbing Hawaii in your face]), then shouldn’t I stay in that space, in that life while I have it?

And if this day—this one, exquisite, life-filled, beauty-filled day—was made for my enjoyment, shouldn’t I live in it and pay attention to it and own it? This day of being married to this good man. This day of serving at Family Kitchen with this incredible crew. This day of getting to live here at the base of these mountains.

“Beware of Destination Addiction,” wrote Robert Holden, PhD, “—a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

Consider part of a poem by Christina Grace Hutson, titled “If We Never Arrive”:

I stand on ground 20 miles ahead of me.
Once this … then I’ll be at peace.
Once the circumstances change, the symptoms leave,
the answers come, the loved one heals,
the person repents, the project is done …
But light sings relentless,
that today will always be the blessed day,
because it’s the one we have.

If we don’t choose to be present and content in this moment, then when we reach that place of the dream job, or dream house, or dream spouse, we won’t be present and content there.

In addition, if we love the idea of the dream job, dream house, dream spouse more than the Giver of Dreams, then the dream—no matter how worthy it is—has become an idol. I know this because I’ve been guilty of this.

Bottom line: As you wait for God to fulfill what He’s spoken to your heart, be present. This moment of pause is your life.