The Three of Me
In a self-published book titled, Uncommon Thoughts on Commonly Held Beliefs, Glenn Murray in one chapter discusses our identity. Who we portray to our world, who we are on the inside, then how God sees us. He uses the tax-collector, Levi, as his example. It is good to remember that these tax men were the scourge of their community. They collected taxes for Rome and were allowed to add on additional costs which served to pad their salary. Hated because of working for the Romans was one thing, but gouging their own countrymen was a bridge too far. But this is the man who Jesus will call out of his booth to follow him. My, how the tongues must have wagged over that recruit. Here's how Murray describes Levi.
The gospel of Luke says that Jesus saw Levi sitting in his booth, so let's start there and see what we can learn. Levi did not have multiple personality disorder, but he did have three identities. The one that everyone knew we will call the public Levi. He was despised because as a Jew, he betrayed his own people and worked for Rome collecting taxes. Then there was the private Levi, the internal person whose thoughts are known only to himself. One can only guess at what kind of person he had become on the inside in order to betray his people. Then there was the Levi that Jesus saw because scripture tells us there was a future apostle sitting in that tax booth. Jesus knew his reputation and he knew what was in his heart. In spite of this, he chose to focus on the apostle in Levi and called it out...Levi became Matthew, who gave us the gospel of Matthew.
The story of Levi, the tax-collector, also helped me again see how God can view me differently than I view myself. Just like Levi, there are three of me, as well.
The first is who you see. Like most folks, I work to shine up and look my best to you. The public me works to not be embarrassed and try to be of assistance when I can. There is, in the outside me, some “people-pleaser” which can get me into trouble. The public me is, at times, not all true, nor is it all false. In fact, a lot of the time I like the public me.
The second me is the internal person I walk around with. For much of the time, I am a lot like the outer me, just with more baggage. I can be calm and secure at the same time, plenty self-critical, wrestling with doubts and unresolved questions. In short, these two me’s are whole and not-so-whole. A work in progress, possibly just like you.
The good news of the good news is that there is a third me. Just like Levi/Matthew, there is an all new me in God’s eyes. Once a person believes in Jesus as his Savior and follows after him as Lord, God calls that one his own, adopts him into his family, and gives that one a new identity: son or daughter. Like any good parent, our Heavenly Father will use every experience we encounter to build in us a family likeness, useful in the world we travel through.
A life-long pursuit lies in integrating my three me’s. More and more living out who God says I am and not shadowed by comparison or doubt. John, in his first letter exclaims with this truth.
What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to. But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we will end up?
Look again at what John wrote. His excitement over the implications of who we are in Jesus: a child of God. Consider the privileges of a child:
A child can bound into the parent's presence with freedom and be welcomed.
A child carries the name of the family everywhere they go.
A child crawls up into the parent's lap to be comforted and instructed and loved.
A child learns life from watching and absorbing the "how-to's" of doing life well.
And, as John says, "And that is just the beginning. Who knows where we will end up?"
Jesus saw what Matthew could and would become when no one else saw anything but a scoundrel. If he can transform a tax-man, you cannot imagine what he can do with you as your external and internal life is more and more remade in the image of Jesus.
Without a list of rules to obey so we might be accepted by God, let’s live lives believing what he says is truly true about us. You are his child, his beloved. When the Father looks at you, he doesn't see all the imperfections and inconsistencies you wrestle with, but he sees the perfection of Jesus. His eternal perspective sees what you will become as you walk your path with one eye on your good, good Father. Proverbs says it well,
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
I’ll be praying that for me and for you, as well. Let’s go!
And...music!
...and jokes for the week, as lame as they are...
Clerk: "Should I have your pizza cut into six slices or twelve?"
Customer: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve slices."
__________
One day long ago, a Czechoslovakian came to visit his friend in New York.
When asked what he wanted to see, the Czechoslovakian replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."
To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the zoo. While they were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole.
Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and ask the zoo keeper what he planned to do.
The zoo keeper asked the man, "Okay, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?"
Pointing out the female as the culprit, the zoo keeper then opened up the mouth of the female, looked inside, but found no signs of the Czech.
With which the man from New York shrugged and said, "Guess the Czech is in the male."