Resolved: Find a Counselor and a Friend in 2024
I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps like you, I have a hard time keeping them. Things like losing weight, getting in better shape, reading the Bible more all have good intentions. But my pet peeve centers on the fact that if these resolutions are good for a new year why not practice them the rest of the year? But that’s the subject of another article.
I was recently struck about King David’s administrative skill in reading 1 Chronicles. Despite his very public failings, he brought Israel to the zenith of its power and influence during his 40-year reign. He organized its religious life (chs.23-26) and its military and civil as well (ch.27). As 1 Chron.18:14 says, “David reigned over all Israel, doing what was just and right for all his people.”
But notice in 1 Chron.27:32-34 some unexpected officials appear in David’s administration. Jonathan (v.32), David’s uncle, and Ahithophel (v.33a) are called counselors; Hushai (v.33b) is named as the king’s friend. Sadly, Ahithophel betrayed David for his son Absalom and eventually took his own life (2 Samuel 15:12,31; 16-20-23; 17:23). He was replaced by Jehoida (v.34). Ironically, it was Hushai who thwarted Ahithophel’s counsel (15:32-37;17:1-16).
David intentionally puts in official positions counselors and friends. These people are not “yes men”. They don’t bow to every whim of the king. They are David’s faithful servants who don’t compromise their lives or the truth.
Counselors provide wise advice in life’s situations. Gordon MacDonald, chancellor of Denver Seminary, calls them “deep people”. They provide ballast for a church or organization. They’ve experienced life in all its ups and downs. They’ve learned the hard way. They’ve seen it all. Someone once said that experience is the ability to recognize your mistakes when you repeat them all over again. Counselors learn from their mistakes and warn others about them.
Counselors sometimes are reluctant to offer wisdom. They must be sought out. Proverbs 19:20 says, “Seek counsel and accept discipline that you may be wise the rest of your days”. For example, when purchasing a new fly rod, I sift through the reviews online. I seek out reviews where people have actually fished with the rod. They provide the most trustworthy advice for my purchase.
Counselors are aware of their shortcomings. They’re not infallible. They make mistakes. They dispense wisdom humbly, knowing that they often fail to live up to their own advice. Wise counselors are not know-it-alls. They may admit that they have no advice to give. But when they do, it has been tested in life’s crucible.
Two men, long since with Jesus, provided me with wisdom as a follower of Jesus and a pastor of God’s people.
Eugene Peterson, author of The Message Bible and many other books, provided me a congruent role model between the vocation of pastor and being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I was fortunate to meet him personally before his death in 2018.
Vernon Grounds, former president of Denver Seminary, modeled humility, and the importance of personal relationships. He always seemed to have time for people despite his heavy burden of administrative and academic responsibilities.
Friends are more personal. Friends can be counselors and counselors can be friends. But there’s a personal touch to a friend. Friends share an equal footing with us. Friendship is mutual. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity”.
David had an unlikely friendship with Jonathan, Saul’s son. 1 Samuel 18:1 says, “As soon as he (David) had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul”. Real friends stick with us through thick and thin.
But real friends refuse to let us slide through life. Proverbs 27:5-6 talks about how faithful are wounds of a friend more than the kisses of an enemy. Friends don’t always say what we want to hear. Friends wound us in order that we may heal.
Real friends are few.
My friend AJ is a true friend. He listens carefully and thoughtfully when I pour out my heart. And I listen when he shares what God is doing in his life. I simply reflect back what I’m hearing. I remark where I see the Holy Spirit working.
In reading this, you may be saying, “I got this”. You have (or are) a counselor and a friend. Great.
For those who have neither counselor nor friend, pray. Pray that in all your resolutions for 2024, God provides both. These people may be someone you already know. The person or persons may come from an unlikely source. But your life will be enriched in 2024 when you find a counselor and a friend.