It’s The Little Things
Here's a line that I wish was original with me and is so good.
Any person who says they are never bothered by the little things has never spent a night in a tent with a mosquito.
I like to think of myself as mostly easy going in the sense that I try not to get worked up over a lot of small things...but there are a few little matters that flat drive me up a wall.
Near the top of my list of insignificant slights are those drivers who refuse to signal out of roundabouts. I'm a big fan of Bend's dozens of traffic circles, and most often they facilitate the smooth flow of cars at even our most crowded intersections. Sure, at commute times they can back up, but largely they do what they are designed to do...until some chucklehead clogs the flow by not telling us what they intend to do by NOT simply using their signal as they exit.
I know, I know. It's a small thing that may cost me a few seconds on my drive, but it bugs the stuffing out of me. And it's not a long stride to impart all kinds of judgment on that driver from my self-righteous mind. It is a pet peeve of mine.
That's an interesting term, "pet peeve." A "peeve" is an annoyance, and "pet" implies something held close or seen as important. Put together, the phrase is not as delightful as we might think when we wear it like a badge of right living. I asked Dr. Google for ideas and here are a few of the most common pet peeves.
Loud Eating/Drinking...
Double dipping. ...
Cracking gum. ...
Cracking Knuckles. ...
Not Covering while Sneezing or Coughing. ...
The Chronically Late. ...
People Eating Off Your Plate. ...
Continuing to turn even though the light is red...
Slow walkers....
Feel free to add yours (like my issue with roundabout jackwagons). It seems normal to cuddle and nurture our biases. Some of the list above seem so common sensical to be obvious as wrong, but really we have no idea what the offender is thinking as they cross our boundaries of deportment. There are plenty of reasons why how we see the world working hold merit, but could there be other ways of seeing the same thing? I might not be wrong, but must I insist on others behaving according to my version of life, my book of etiquette? And when my lines are crossed, where does that action take me?
So, a question to ponder is why we treat with tenderness something bound to set us off in a direction that doesn't make us better versions of ourselves? Let's give us the benefit of the doubt that our biases are correct. Am I better because of this and others less so if they don't follow my rules? Some of my peeves are baked into my thinking and rule book, so much so that diversions are just not allowed.
This thinking carries over to the faith family we travel with. In my mind, I see a right way to do faith and worship and life as a follower of Jesus. Admittedly, I have pet peeves when others don't see faith my way, and can import undesirable motives based on my biases. When I do this, I'm way out on thin ice. I've abandoned the idea of the "one anothers" stated almost 60 times in the New Testament. Just Google "one anothers in the bible" and you will see, again, a game plan for how to live a full faith life with others who see things differently. Here's a list https://www.smallgroupchurches.com/the-59-one-anothers-of-the-bible/ One reason for their repetitive inclusion lies how easy it is to divide over personal slights driven by pet peeves.
Sure, we need to be convinced in our beliefs, but there must also be room for others to see the same scriptures or behaviors and come to different conclusions, without judgment. We just might not have a corner on the truth market or the right behaviors for every situation.
So, whether at a roundabout or in a faith group, consider taking a deep breath and work to one another one another. When I go out driving later today...I'll work on that at the first traffic circle.
Grace given always gifts the giver and quiets the moment.
Music for this winter week sounds like...
and a teachable moment funny...
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
Dad takes out his cell phone and dials a number at random.
When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Roger, please?"
"No! There's no one called Roger here."
The person hangs up.
"That's irritation," says the dad.
He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time. "No, there's no one here called Roger. Go away. Don't call again."
"That's aggravation," says Dad.
"Then what's frustration?" asks his son.
The father picks up his phone and dials a third time: "Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?"