Expectations

In some circles it is said, “Expectations are pre-resentments.” I expect you to behave in a particular manner, and when you do not conform to my expectation, I resent it. It is all within my own control—planning the outcome for something over which I have no control. This is a game I cannot win most times. I try to be careful not to play it, but sometimes I slip.

As many before us, Steve and I made that giant transition from tent camping to RV camping back in 2019 before the wheels of the world came off with COVID. We bought a truck camper in Salem, Oregon before we had the truck to transport it and returned several months later to pick it up. Soon after it was in our possession we were grounded by the lost year of 2020.

We have so many capable friends that are RV campers, and many have come forward to help us get acquainted with the RV. We learned how to pull out the awning, put in water and drain the tanks, and when it was time, how to winterize it. This all sounds much simpler than it actually is for us.

To be honest, each time we use the camper we have the talk about whether or not the RV life is for us. The battery power has given us fits. The refrigerator switches don’t work like they should. The indicator lights are rotten liars. The invertor doesn’t want to cooperate. Our learning curve for the camper has been steep and expensive. We fondly think back to the simplicity we embraced with tent camping. Then we review if we want to leave the comfort of the camper and return to a tent.

We just returned from Bella Coola visiting the Great Bear Rainforest. We bought the hard-sided camping unit to go camp among the bears. As the kilometers of British Columbia rolled by to and from Bella Coola we talked of the current camper problems we were experiencing. Thankfully our issues were not interrupting our enjoyment of the bears and living comfortably in the camper.

As if I were struck by a screaming loonie, or its big sister, a toonie, I realized that a major contributing factor to our camper distress was expectation. Same as anyone that has bought something new, I expected everything to work. I further had expectations of how things would work. I was wrong.

“Yes, Captain Obvious,” I said to myself. In addition to a big learning curve, there are things that go wrong. This is life, and these are truly not problems to wrap around the axle over. Once the cloud of expectation evaporated, I could see things in a proper perspective. Now that this was obvious, was it helpful? Very.

My relationship with God has been jaded with similar issues. In my early Christian life, I had a closet full of expectations and thought God would magically meet them. I prayed and prayed to be delivered from besetting sin, but rose every new morning to the same old problems. I read the Bible, went to church, prayed, fasted, served, and strove to become a person of favorably answered prayer. I was doing my work, but God wasn’t doing his (in my opinion). Why wasn’t my new shiny Christianity working right, I pondered?

Fast forward a whole bunch of life and experience and I still struggle with the question of why I should pray for one thing or another when God is really the one in control. How can I manage my expectations? What does it really mean to pray in faith that God will answer?

The Bible is full of clues. In the book of Psalms, I see David pouring out his heart to the Lord with all of his desires, but holding close that the Lord will bring about the best result. The disciples were taught by Jesus how to pray, asking for the Lord’s Will on Earth as it is in Heaven, acknowledging his greatness and asking for his care. In several of the letters, Paul writes tremendous prayers asking for the sun, moon, and stars all to the glory of God and asks his fellow believers in Jesus to do the same.

I am guilty of telling God how to direct the surgeon’s hand in a critical surgery, and further instructing how to conduct the business of the other attendants. I have ordered travel safety for loved ones, especially at 35,000 feet over the ocean. God has heard my pleas for life rather than death for the ones he calls his own.

We are told to pray in faith, and I believe God can do anything. “All things are possible with God,” Mary sings when she learns she will give birth to the Savior of the world. Here is where my transmission slips gears. I pray in faith believing God can do, and then I believe God will do because I prayed in faith. As though riding a wild stallion, mentally I have taken the reins and set my expectations. I dig my heels deep in the stirrups as though I am in control.

Naturally my expectations are dashed when things do not turn out my way. How can I not be furiously disappointed in the God that created Heaven and Earth and everything in them when he did not do what I asked?

It took a long while for this old girl, but I have altered my prayers to contain the clause, “If it be Your Will, Lord.” I do ask for all those things—the successful surgeon, the able attendants, the victorious search and rescue, the capable airline pilots, the trained airline engineers and mechanics—all if it be the Lord’s Will that these purposes are accomplished. I guess I should add the Lance Camper to my prayer list, huh?

Don’t be looking for that fancy camper of ours on Facebook Marketplace yet. We’ll clean it up, get it winterized and take the Winter to think about whether or not to keep it. With God anything is possible.