Chasing Unity...One More Time
“Make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Eph. 4:4
Two weeks ago in this space I wrote about unity in the church and the steep climb that often presents, both back for the early church and now. I like what I wrote but it felt incomplete, lacking any specifics needed to flesh out what it looks like to press for this in any congregation. And the need is great.
Across the country many churches are experiencing conflict like few can recall. Pastors are under fire as never before and are called on to be the resident expert on everything from vaccines to elections to TikTok trends along with being the final voice for the Bible and how it applies to every aspect of life. As a result, many in the clergy are exhausted and busloads are choosing to leave the vocation of ministry they once loved. Local churches of every brand are shrinking or folding their tents altogether, and people who study this stuff report 40 million people in the US have quit church altogether since 2020.
After being constantly taught and catechized by volatile social media, manipulative internet influencers, questionable online preachers, and blatantly biased cable news, folks come to church with baked-in and baptized ideas on every issue, and spoiling for a fight with anyone holding alternate views. Churches have too often become more ideological battlegrounds than diverse groups of Jesus-followers who have in first place his kingdom and his righteousness and letting all the rest fall into a distant second place.
In our home group from church, we’ve been reading a book with a series of essays each geared toward a better understanding of how to get along with others in divided times like ours. One essay, written by a Black woman who used her experiences of passive and overt racism, hit along the lines of this post. Early in her essay she describes herself this way.
I am a reconciler. A reconciler is one who does the work of reconciliation: restoring friendships, bringing harmony, resolving differences.
What Trillia Newbell reflects is an aspect of Paul’s call to the Ephesian church to do the hard work to stay unified as they sing in harmony, each with a different voice. When rough church times come it is much easier to shake my head and walk away, but if we are family and if we are better together, I’m called to hang in there with our group and stand with Newbell as a reconciler.
So, what can a person of faith with good intentions for their church do? I’m sure there are plenty of worthwhile strategies, but allow me to offer five ideas to ponder on maintaining unity in your congregation.
Keep the main thing the main thing
We are called to love God and one another as we grow in our faith. Unity can shatter when we either quietly or quite loudly demand marginal issues take center stage in a church. How keeping the main thing at the front will look different in every church, since each church chooses their lane, but at its heart is an unwillingness to be distracted from the mission: Love God and love others alongside people different from me. Try viewing church details through the grid of the main thing.
Assume the best in the person in front of you
Where this can go off the rails is when someone differs from you and your opinion of how you see faith working in life. It is too easy to “other” another person, sidelining them from the life of the body. From there, a short step lands us being at odds with our brothers and sisters and the fights are likely to follow. A good starting point for me is to assume the person I have a disagreement with has a good heart and desires for the best, just like I try to do. Try asking questions to get a better sense of their heart and intentions.
Make room for differences
Paul likens the church to a “body” with separate and distinct but complimentary parts who are to use their gifts to expand the kingdom of God. This expansion is both by doing good in our community and inviting in new folks to follow Jesus. Consider practicing celebrating all the differences in the body of Christ. We are less of what we can be if we only have a group that looks like us. Press yourself to imagine where they fit in the “body” analogy. Perhaps include others in your after church talking groups or inviting them out for a cup of coffee during the week.
Get to know your pastors and encourage them to not lose hope
Living as a vocational minister can be a lonely life. What most of us see on Sundays are people looking spiffy and doing their best to usher a congregation a bit closer to God. But don’t assume your team of lead people have it more together than you do, or their families stronger than yours, or their spiritual struggles less than what you face. The difference is that many navigate a faith life often alone. Look for ways to verbally, practically, and spiritually lift these ones up. Buy lunch…without an agenda. Or write a note of thanks on a nice card. And don’t neglect praying for your pastors.
Be the peacemaker in your group and recruit others
Come Sunday, pray for chances to bring peace to your tribe. Do the work of a reconciler. Intend to diffuse tension rather than add fuel to the fire. Use words to function as bridges between people. Ask questions to keep from assuming. Listen well to understand the hurt behind anger. Spend time to be the reconciler in your circle, first to God and then to the group. How fortunate are the peacemakers for, as Jesus taught, they are the children of God.
Reading these over, they sound rather simplistic, but the reality is, unless we begin with simple moves to keep the unity of the church alive, we may wake up one morning looking over the trench wall at full-scale church wars. Some of the 40 million absentees are casualties.
Next Sunday, perhaps attend with an eye to what is needed to hold your group together. Tensions are as old as the church and are bound to arise. Not every fight can or ought be avoided, but even then the goal should be protecting and buttressing the unity of the body rather than just getting the win.
We are in this together, and it is our task to hang together. We are no different from one another than Jesus’ disciples, and they pulled it off just fine. Surely, we can do likewise.
A fine way to end is with the lyrics from one of the Psalms of Ascent, #133
How good and pleasant it is when brothers (and sisters) live together in harmony!
For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe.
Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the LORD has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.
…and music!
Time for bad jokes…
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
“Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a bus stop."
__________
The old cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't never had one. Never."
"Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."