Mishearing Messages

I recently heard of a little girl, almost 3 years old, who was playing with her grandma on the couch as grandpa read in his easy chair. The little was doing little stuff, singing and making believe her farm animal toys were real and living a grand life on their farm (including the giraffe and elephant). Grandma joined in on the fun and grandpa nodded off just a bit, until the girl sputtered loudly, "Crap, Grandma! Crap!" Startled and a bit shocked, the oldsters now on high alert responded, "What did you say? Who taught you that?" The little girl looking confused said, "You know, Grandma, Crap!" as she joyously clapped her hands together.

A misheard message.

I've wondered over the years of my faith journey how many times I have misunderstood, misheard, misinterpreted, or just plain missed a God message. When we read the story of God as recorded in the bible, a common error is to read with our contemporary lenses firmly in place. Sometimes I can miss a rhetorical twist or not grasp a cultural reference or misread a metaphor. In my attempt to read the scriptures literally, I have sometimes wandered into letterism when I miss a cue and end up with a bad interpretation. An example are the folks who have taken Jesus' words about cutting off a hand or gouging out an eye if they cause oa person to stumble, then proceeding to self-mutilation. Sure, that's extreme, but mistakes in decoding messages happen all the time.
It happens when...

  • Verses are yanked out of context to prove a point

  • Promises are claimed that have nothing to do with us

  • Rules are laid down because they are modeled in scripture without understanding the cultural framework

  • Vehicles of rhetoric or figures of speech are missed leading to bad interpretations

It takes work to sift through the stories and history and letters and poems and prophecies of the bible to see God-principles to apply to our lives. Real live people encountering God along their way sought the best routes to a good life. Some succeeded and others failed, but the constant is the Father, Son, and Spirit prompting, disciplining, teaching about life beyond this life. And it all culminates with Jesus. He is the final word when it comes to doing faith, the rest either looks forward to his coming or back on his life. He is, to paraphrase John in his gospel, the Word who came to earth and set up shop in our neighborhood. I like what one guy says, "The Word of God is authoritative, inspired, inerrant, and at 18 he grew a beard."

So, as a professed follower of Jesus, I need to listen to his guidance and strive to understand how to apply his lessons to my life all these centuries later. I also want to read the rest of the bible through a Jesus filter. If he is the Word, if he is God in the flesh, then his teaching interprets all other parts of the bible. And, all the other parts of scripture carry a context we must understand before jumping to an application that may not look at all like Jesus.

Where this leaves me is with a renewed desire to listen to Jesus more so I don't mishear his message to me.

This lenten season, I'm focusing on reading the Gospels with an eye to know and do more of what he showed to his world, and trust me, like you (possibly) my attempts often stumble like a drunk at closing time. But let's not stop. Let's not allow stumbles to define or deter us from doing what he did: Love God, love others. Let's ask the Spirit to help us to understand and apply what we see in our Master and Savior, Jesus. We will be just fine if we set our focus there.

...and...music. Let's count it out

Here's ONE 19 year old and his fiddle

Then TWO sisters in the Arms of an Angel

And THREE kids from New Jersey...the Bluegrass Capital of the World

How about FOUR guys doing It Is Well

Bring it home with FIVE bold voices on an old hymn

And thanks Ed for this gem!

Why We Love Children

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents '

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?’ 'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead bird. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Al Hulbert

Retired pastor, teacher, school administrator, and master of witty sayings.

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